unwelcome guests...

So the other day Jess and I had just gotten back from the store and I am unloading a bunch of bags, when, much to my dismay, Angus comes running over. Now mind you, he hasnt shown up since I told him he wasnt allowed to play inside anymore since he left the house in a whirlwind and took off.... he asks us his usual questions and wants to know if Jesse can play... as kindly as possible I tell him that is up to jesse and if they play they may ONLY play in the front yard. They both agree and I close the door and continue getting things set up for my million projects I decided to tackle.... no more than five minutes pass when I want to slink upstairs and act like I am not home, but that wont work because my child is outside... I hear Angus' moms voice... Jesse comes running in... "Mom angus' mom is here..." I tell him, I am aware and am busy right now.... you think that since I have come out to say hello she would go away BUT SHE DOESNT!!!!!!! she is still standing right outside of my front door, or so I thought... I finally emerge from the kitchen and much to my surprise, well no surprise at all really, she is sitting on my entry way bench INSIDE my home and Jesse and Angus and managed to make their way in as well. I say hello, try to be cordial but offer nothing... she can OBVIOUSLY see I am busy. I try to make minimal small talk, hoping she would get the hint, but she doesnt. Angus asks if I can go upstairs and I tell him no... I remind him (in front of his mother) that the reason he cant play inside is because he was so rude the last time and didnt help clean up... I look at his mother in hopes that she will be upset with him and scold him, instead she laughs. Yes, I said it, flat out laughs... by now I am NOT happy. I have a million things to do and these people are just downright rude. FINALLY she says she needs to go make dinner, at around 7:45pm) and asks if Angus can stay or should she take him home....this is when his older (9 year old brother) Jonas shows up and asks if they can play inside and he will make sure to clean up... i reluctantly agree and run the rules by them yet again.... much to my surprise all was going smoothly and around 8:15 I tell them they need to clean up and I will walk them home.... I hear cleaning and then Jonas comes downstairs walking very strangely and I ask him what he has in his hands, he holds ONE up and says nothing... so I say "jonas what are you hiding under your shirt" and he takes out one of Jesses expensive model GT mustangs. I am just astonished at this point, infuriated would be another good word to use! I tell him to put it down on the couch and that he is not allowed to play inside anymore because not only did he try to steal but he lied and that I shouldnt have to check his pockets before he leaves.... I walk them both home and tell them that should they come by again they can only play in the front because I simply cant trust them.... I talk to Jesse and then let matt know. I had half a mind to tell his mother something else but just figured shed give her usual response, a giant chuckle and act as though it is no big deal so I do not waste my breath......

The next day angus and jonas show up in swim trunks and with towels and say they are ready to go swimming, well... I let matt answer the door and he told them that they arent allowed inside, and explained to jonas that it was not okay what he did and that they needed to leave.... a few minutes later they both come back and matt again tells them to leave! they both do, but later I see angus in the front yard trying to look into our window and it slightly worries me that his mother doesnt think to wonder where he is!

I just cant fathom how this mother could let her children behave this way...nor can I fathom why she does not punish them for the things they do wrong, jonas didnt even think it was an issue that he tried to steal, the issue was that he got caught. Although it breaks my heart because I know Jess wants friends I just feel like he is better off not playing with the menace and his gang, rather than picking up bad habits. It is clear that his mother does not have manners coming in uninvited and laughing at anything I say... and her children sure dont fall far from the tree.

another (hard) lesson in childhood friendships

So the other day Angus comes over, and Jess is thrilled to see him. They wanted to play with one another but it was pretty hot outside so Matt said I should just let them play upstairs in Jesses room. (Mind you Matt has no idea how this child really behaves) So reluctantly I agree. I tell them both the rules.... No climbing on Jesses bed, no throwing toys, no jumping on the walls, if you make a mess you clean it up, and so on.... everything is going relatively well until I start hearing loud crashes, I call Jesse downstairs and ask him what is going on and he tells me Angus is going down the slide... I think to myself, "didnt I make myself clear?" So I call Angus, I ask him if he is sliding down and he says yes, so I tell him that is not okay and it he cant follow the rules he is going to have to go home.... he agrees, and off they go to continue playing.... it doesnt take long and they come downstairs to play vacation, I tell them it isnt necessary to play down here when they have the loft and Jesse's room or outside.... so they ask if they can go outside, I tell them after they clean up... they both agree and run upstairs to clean..... 5 minutes pass and here they come, I tell them both to wait downstairs while I check and sure enough everything was still a mess.... so I go back downstairs and begin to say they need to go back up when I realize Angus is no longer here.... I ask Jesse where he went and he said "outside." So I explain to Jesse that Angus isnt really a good friend, and that he just uses him... and this time, again, Jesse is the one that is hurt because he is going to have to do all the cleaning by himself... He understood and went upstairs to clean.... when he came back down he seemed kind of sad so I told him that I love him and that he is still able to go outside with his daddy and play....

It is a hard lesson to learn, especially at four, that some people are only there to use you. He ended up with the brunt of the work, but like I told him, God would want us to do what is right even when others tempt us to do what is wrong. So today when Angus came over Jesse explained to him that he is no longer allowed to play inside because he didnt like having to clean up all by himself, and that good friends dont do that.... he continued by saying that he would still like to be friends but play outside (insert tears and proud mommy sigh here). Angus said okay, played for about ten minutes and then took off to play with someone else. Jess came in with his head held high though, he didnt seem upset. He just said that Angus isnt a very good friend, not like Isela and Casey.

So there you have it, a four year old learning the hard lessons of friendship. While it breaks my heart, I know I cant shield him and even if I could I dont think I would. I grew up being a welcome mat and I really dont want him to be one, being kind doesnt mean being weak, that is something I had to learn and am still learning. My sweetheart has a heart of gold, but I am glad he is learning how to stand up for himself!

Ice cream madness and empty juice boxes

So after escaping Angus coming into our home, yet again, 230 rolls around the next day and sure enough here comes Angus.... Jess runs outside with enthusiasm and is thrilled that Angus brought his scooter.... they trade, Angus uses Jesses skateboard and Jess uses his scooter. About thirty minutes pass by and they want a snack, it was pretty warm out so I offered popsicles, and of course they all wanted one.... now here came my warning... the previous day I had been kind enough to give out juice boxes, but much to my dismay they were found empty by my driveway and street the next day! I was not happy about this and spoke with Jesse and before handing them the popsicles informed them if I find trash on the ground again it would be the absolute last time I gave them anything... angus just laughed and said "its not a big deal, I do it at home all the time." To wish I Kindly responded "if your mother is okay with trash on the ground and in her home, that is okay with me... I however am not okay with it, and if you would like to play here and enjoy a snack you will follow my rules." He just looked at me astonished and said "Okay." To be quite frank I doubt anyone has ever spoken to him like that. So I proceed in passing out the popsicles, and only Jess and the older brother said thank you. Not that I was surprised. About 10 minutes later the ice cream truck comes and jess starts screaming "mom, mom.... I need a dollar.." "umm Jess you just had ice cream you arent getting another," "no mom, not for me, for angus" (insert highly annoyed look here) "Jesse, I just gave everyone a popsicle and I am not giving anyone a dollar... if angus would like a dollar he can go home and ask his mom..." to which angus responds "My mom doesnt have money or food now give me a dollar." hahahahahahahahahah "ummmm no... and for your information the next time you make a demand you will no longer be allowed to play over here. I am not your friend and you will respect me." His jaw dropped and his eyes got big, he didnt even know what to say.

After a few hours of playing it was time for Jess to come in and have dinner and take a bath, and here comes angus marching right behind. "sorry angus you will need to go home now," "no I am coming in for a while, I want to talk to jesse" "no, you are going home, Jesse has played long enough and you can see him tomorrow." He hangs his head and tells Jesse goodbye, gives him a high five and a hug (awe he does have a kind side buried deep, deep, DEEP under all that dirt and ill manners) and he goes on his way. SIGH... I am so glad that Jess is well behaved and I dont have those issues with him, I would die if I knew he was acting that way!

Until next time... trying to understand what happened between her oldest and her youngest.... madness.

First lesson in childhood friendships...

I plan to continue where I left off in another blog, but felt the need to write this one first. So Jesse is excited every day to see Angus, hear Angus, and get to play with Angus. I dont mind as long as the play outside and they are nice to one another. Well recently Angus has been playing with some other friends and not so much with Jess, and it has kind of hurt Jesse's feelings. I know why Angus doesnt want to play with him as much, because (A) I wont let him in the house, not when he is rude and doesnt listen... and (B) I am not providing the entire neighborhood with snacks and drinks. While I dont particularly care for Angus it does hurt me to see Jesse playing outside by himself in hopes that Angus will come over and play with him. He doesnt understand that Angus is simply using him, and it isnt something I can explain, its a lesson in childhood friendship. Some friends are keepers, and others.... well, they are Angus'. Until next time.... this is Jesse's first lesson in childhood friendships. :/

Lurking...

....After having Angus and his mother over, uninvited, I had decided I would try to come up with excuses not to be available or let Jess play... this would all be MUCH easier if Angus wasnt always lurking around my home. I swear he smells my car or something. The minute we turn onto the street he is making a B-Line for our house, waving and screaming. I try to slump down in my car... hoping, PRAYING he gets called home... but No, instead he starts knocking on my van windows when I pull into the drive and yelling Jesse's name..... well this lurking has gotten so out of hand that I decided to be even more clever and come the back way home, however it doesnt change the fact that he senses us and comes running over before we can even get out of the car! He will be waiting on our front lawn for us, sitting on the sidewalk, or just hanging around outside until he sees my car. So avoiding him is obviously NOT possible......As soon as Jesse see's him his eyes light up and he begs me to let him play, and how can I refuse that!?! I mean, Angus is nice to him and it gives Jess a chance to have a friend... but oh how I wish it were someone, almost anyone else.

After the unavoidable its become routine that around 230 pm Angus can no longer wait to play with Jesse. I always tell him that Jess needs to finish his work first and then he can come out. So after stalling as long as humanly possible Jess bolts for the door. The usual rules are put in place, stay on the grass or driveway, no street or sidewalk, no backyard or house, and when I call your name you better answer! Mind you I am ALWAYS watching! (they just dont know it) So me being sneaky I am standing on the corner of the house and all the sudden Jess and Angus head for the street, I continue to watch... and Jess steps into the street..... "JESSE CURT SAMPLES, WHAT are you doing!?!" Angus nonchalantly answers "we are going to my house." I wanted to say Hell to the no, but I refrained and responded "well Jesse needs to ask and he didnt and he is NEVER allowed to go into the street." Jesse asks "mom can I go to Angus' house." "No, and since you broke the rules and went into the street you need to clean up and you get time-out for 4 minutes." He wasnt too happy about that, but I am NOT having this "I can do whatever I want attitude" So after his time-out I tell him he can play for another 10 minutes and explain AGAIN why he isnt allowed in the street... and he understands, so out he goes. A few minutes pass and he comes back and says they are all thirsty, so I give them juice boxes and some jelly beans (I heard somewhere that you should never feed things/people you dont want lurking so explain why I did it!?!) and send Jess on his way......

It is time to go in, but wait here comes his mom.... oh how I wish I hadnt come outside... so he comes over, I am friendly, she starts chatting and the older brother informs me he hasnt showered in like a week, she just laughs.... I am thoroughly disgusted. Then she notices Angus has jelly beans, I let her know I gave them all a bag to share and she takes them and starts eating them... no thank you, just eats them. I was trying hard not to laugh, and it sure does explain a lot. After standing there for about 5 minutes I excused myself and said we really needed to go in and guess who runs in first... Angus, I tell him that he needs to go home with his mom and he informs me he will be eating dinner at my house, and I told him kindly that wouldnt be happening and we could plan for it... he sighs and off he goes.

Oh goodness I really have no idea what I got myself into being kind to the neighborhood menace, but I can say that Jess always seems to enjoy playing with him. Until next time... be glad he isnt your neighbor!

Lets play!

So now that you have "met" our wonderful neighbor Angus (aka Dennis the menace) let me start by telling you a little more about this child. He is always, and I mean always, covered from head to toe in dirt. He has no manners, but is sweet... and he thoroughly enjoys playing with Jess. After our lovely first meeting and his brother coming to wrangle him back in, I decided I dont want to let him in my house unless I have met his mother...... why do I torture myself?

Angus comes over again, ringing the doorbell as though it were the end of the world. I answer the door... "yes Angus".... he is proceeding to shove a dog (at this point I didnt know it was his) into my house.... "angus what are you doing?" "I want my dog to go inside, you can lock him up in your cage." "ummm no, your dog is NOT coming into my house, sorry." (lets his dog run away) "oh, okay well I will come in because I NEED to talk to Jesse." "Well Angus remember how last time you lied to me, this time I need a note from your mom or dad or I need to meet them." "Okay I will get a note...." about 5 minutes pass, and I cant say I wasnt hoping he just wouldnt come back. The doorbell rings again... not once, not twice (and it isnt as though I am not walking toward the door) but about ten times. I open the door and there he is, "My mom said no..." "well I will be taking Jess to the park in a few minutes maybe if you are still outside you can go with us." "OKAY!" and then he sits on my front porch waiting. Jess and I are ready to leave and he is walking with us, and I told him he cant just go he needs to ask his mom... so he goes to his house, and instead of using the front door as I had assumed he would he CLIMBS through his front window. Astonished I cant help but think, why!?! His mom comes outside and I walk across the street to introduce myself, she seems normal enough... and off to the park we go. We stayed for a little over an hour and I told them it was time to go home because Jess needed to eat dinner and Angus tells me he is going to stay at the park. I tell him no, you came with me you need to go home with me... at which he says, I am okay I am going to play with my friend michael. I tell him again he needs to come with me and he says no... so on the way home (the park is literally 2 minutes from my house) I stop at his house and inform his mom that he did not want to listen to me and that he is still at the park. I thought this was the end of the story...................

As I am cleaning up from dinner (its about 730ish now) the doorbell rings and its Angus and his mom! He opens my door and comes in and guess who follows!?! His mom! I couldnt believe it, they both just came in... no invitation, just HELLO! So me being gracious offer her something to drink and sure enough she accepts and has a seat on my couch. We continue on in conversation about how long they have lived here, the fact that she has 5 kids... yadda yadda yadda.... all while Angus is annoyingly throwing a ball against my wall. I inform him that if his behavior continues he will no longer be able to play inside and he says "Ill stop in a minute" his mom is JUST SITTING THERE! I couldnt believe it! and sure enough he continued to throw the ball! then he TELLS me he is going to spend the night, to which I quickly replied, no.... not tonight and not until you can turn on your listening ears... he argues with me and I tell him that maybe one day he can, but right now Jess and I have to leave so we will see him tomorrow. Luckily his mom seemed to get the hint and they left within five minutes.

I was flabbergasted! I couldnt believe the gall of that little boy and the fact that his mother was just letting him behave that way. I suppose that explains the fact that he is running the streets without shoes and entering into strangers homes. Dont get me wrong, his mom is very sweet, as is he... but it doesnt take away from the fact that at this point I wish that Jess had made friends with ANY other child!

Until the next time.... I hope you have enjoyed this little rambling of our crazy adventures. Continue to check back, there will be more!

Meeting the crazy neighbor child...

I think I can safely say that one of a mothers greatest yearnings for their child is to have friends to play with in the neighborhood. Think about it, it requires no traveling (to pick up or drop off), they can play outside (or inside), and when the day is over they live close enough to just say "see you tomorrow." <---insert audible sigh here!

Let me take you back to the day we got to meet our wonderful neighbor child, his name.... Angus. I swear when Matt referenced Dennis the menace it was hitting the head on the nail! Angus comes over and starts talking to us, covered in dirt from head to toe you would think this child hasnt had a bath in days (this is where I felt sorry for him), no shoes on, but the biggest smile you could imagine.... "awe he is cute, must be close to Jesse's age" were my thoughts to be exact... he is talking to matt and matt is actually humoring him... and then Jess starts to play with him (we think, wow this is nice, now Jess is busy.) Before we know it Angus is running into the garage, inviting himself into the house, and trying to take (at the time) one of our dogs home. Mind you, this is all the FIRST day we met! So I tell him today is probably not a good day, we are rather busy but would love to have him over again when we are settled. (someone smack me now for even saying that!) The next day comes and matt is off to work, and the doorbell rings... once, twice, annoyingly a million times... I open the door "Hi is your dad home" amused I tell him, "my dad doesnt live here," ...confused.... "oh well is your brother home," getting a kick out of it "no, my brother doesnt live here either." (Jess comes to the door) "isnt that your brother?" "no, that is my son Jesse," "oh, well I need to talk to Jesse and his grandpa." hahahahahahahaha, I know at this point I should have corrected him, but I couldnt help but feel slightly amused that he thought Matt, who mind you is only a couple months older than me, was my dad! I tell him thats not Jesse's grandpa its my husband and his dad, and he isn't home. He continues to invite himself in. As a mother this is where I started to wonder "where are his parents?" I could be some psycho child molester, and he is ringing a strangers doorbell and coming in to play!!!! o_O Strange if you ask me. I tell him that he needs to ask his mom or dad if he can come in and play... literally 2 seconds later he shows up and says his dad said yes, me trying to assure that Jesse will have friends lets him in.... upstairs they go in a flurry and I start hearing him slide and crash into the wall, toys are hitting the floor "BOYS... behave up there or Angus will have to go home." "OKAY" and yet the loud noises continued. The doorbell rings and much to my surprise a boy is standing there (he is clean) asking if Angus is here and saying he needs to go home... I introduce myself and he says that he is Angus' brother... I ask if Angus came home to ask if he could come in and play, and he tells me no...I mean, was I expecting to hear yes? I tell him that Angus told me his dad said it was okay, and his brother informs me that his dad isnt home because he works nights as well.  As Angus leaves I tell him that the next time he comes to play I will need to meet mom or dad or he needs to bring a note........

Of course, he tells me okay.

Until our next adventure of the life of a child and our crazy neighbor.... my question is, in this crazy world what kind of parent just lets their child run a muck and enter a strangers home? I will give you that answer next time :)