So the other day Angus comes over, and Jess is thrilled to see him. They wanted to play with one another but it was pretty hot outside so Matt said I should just let them play upstairs in Jesses room. (Mind you Matt has no idea how this child really behaves) So reluctantly I agree. I tell them both the rules.... No climbing on Jesses bed, no throwing toys, no jumping on the walls, if you make a mess you clean it up, and so on.... everything is going relatively well until I start hearing loud crashes, I call Jesse downstairs and ask him what is going on and he tells me Angus is going down the slide... I think to myself, "didnt I make myself clear?" So I call Angus, I ask him if he is sliding down and he says yes, so I tell him that is not okay and it he cant follow the rules he is going to have to go home.... he agrees, and off they go to continue playing.... it doesnt take long and they come downstairs to play vacation, I tell them it isnt necessary to play down here when they have the loft and Jesse's room or outside.... so they ask if they can go outside, I tell them after they clean up... they both agree and run upstairs to clean..... 5 minutes pass and here they come, I tell them both to wait downstairs while I check and sure enough everything was still a mess.... so I go back downstairs and begin to say they need to go back up when I realize Angus is no longer here.... I ask Jesse where he went and he said "outside." So I explain to Jesse that Angus isnt really a good friend, and that he just uses him... and this time, again, Jesse is the one that is hurt because he is going to have to do all the cleaning by himself... He understood and went upstairs to clean.... when he came back down he seemed kind of sad so I told him that I love him and that he is still able to go outside with his daddy and play....
It is a hard lesson to learn, especially at four, that some people are only there to use you. He ended up with the brunt of the work, but like I told him, God would want us to do what is right even when others tempt us to do what is wrong. So today when Angus came over Jesse explained to him that he is no longer allowed to play inside because he didnt like having to clean up all by himself, and that good friends dont do that.... he continued by saying that he would still like to be friends but play outside (insert tears and proud mommy sigh here). Angus said okay, played for about ten minutes and then took off to play with someone else. Jess came in with his head held high though, he didnt seem upset. He just said that Angus isnt a very good friend, not like Isela and Casey.
So there you have it, a four year old learning the hard lessons of friendship. While it breaks my heart, I know I cant shield him and even if I could I dont think I would. I grew up being a welcome mat and I really dont want him to be one, being kind doesnt mean being weak, that is something I had to learn and am still learning. My sweetheart has a heart of gold, but I am glad he is learning how to stand up for himself!
No comments:
Post a Comment