another (hard) lesson in childhood friendships

So the other day Angus comes over, and Jess is thrilled to see him. They wanted to play with one another but it was pretty hot outside so Matt said I should just let them play upstairs in Jesses room. (Mind you Matt has no idea how this child really behaves) So reluctantly I agree. I tell them both the rules.... No climbing on Jesses bed, no throwing toys, no jumping on the walls, if you make a mess you clean it up, and so on.... everything is going relatively well until I start hearing loud crashes, I call Jesse downstairs and ask him what is going on and he tells me Angus is going down the slide... I think to myself, "didnt I make myself clear?" So I call Angus, I ask him if he is sliding down and he says yes, so I tell him that is not okay and it he cant follow the rules he is going to have to go home.... he agrees, and off they go to continue playing.... it doesnt take long and they come downstairs to play vacation, I tell them it isnt necessary to play down here when they have the loft and Jesse's room or outside.... so they ask if they can go outside, I tell them after they clean up... they both agree and run upstairs to clean..... 5 minutes pass and here they come, I tell them both to wait downstairs while I check and sure enough everything was still a mess.... so I go back downstairs and begin to say they need to go back up when I realize Angus is no longer here.... I ask Jesse where he went and he said "outside." So I explain to Jesse that Angus isnt really a good friend, and that he just uses him... and this time, again, Jesse is the one that is hurt because he is going to have to do all the cleaning by himself... He understood and went upstairs to clean.... when he came back down he seemed kind of sad so I told him that I love him and that he is still able to go outside with his daddy and play....

It is a hard lesson to learn, especially at four, that some people are only there to use you. He ended up with the brunt of the work, but like I told him, God would want us to do what is right even when others tempt us to do what is wrong. So today when Angus came over Jesse explained to him that he is no longer allowed to play inside because he didnt like having to clean up all by himself, and that good friends dont do that.... he continued by saying that he would still like to be friends but play outside (insert tears and proud mommy sigh here). Angus said okay, played for about ten minutes and then took off to play with someone else. Jess came in with his head held high though, he didnt seem upset. He just said that Angus isnt a very good friend, not like Isela and Casey.

So there you have it, a four year old learning the hard lessons of friendship. While it breaks my heart, I know I cant shield him and even if I could I dont think I would. I grew up being a welcome mat and I really dont want him to be one, being kind doesnt mean being weak, that is something I had to learn and am still learning. My sweetheart has a heart of gold, but I am glad he is learning how to stand up for himself!

Ice cream madness and empty juice boxes

So after escaping Angus coming into our home, yet again, 230 rolls around the next day and sure enough here comes Angus.... Jess runs outside with enthusiasm and is thrilled that Angus brought his scooter.... they trade, Angus uses Jesses skateboard and Jess uses his scooter. About thirty minutes pass by and they want a snack, it was pretty warm out so I offered popsicles, and of course they all wanted one.... now here came my warning... the previous day I had been kind enough to give out juice boxes, but much to my dismay they were found empty by my driveway and street the next day! I was not happy about this and spoke with Jesse and before handing them the popsicles informed them if I find trash on the ground again it would be the absolute last time I gave them anything... angus just laughed and said "its not a big deal, I do it at home all the time." To wish I Kindly responded "if your mother is okay with trash on the ground and in her home, that is okay with me... I however am not okay with it, and if you would like to play here and enjoy a snack you will follow my rules." He just looked at me astonished and said "Okay." To be quite frank I doubt anyone has ever spoken to him like that. So I proceed in passing out the popsicles, and only Jess and the older brother said thank you. Not that I was surprised. About 10 minutes later the ice cream truck comes and jess starts screaming "mom, mom.... I need a dollar.." "umm Jess you just had ice cream you arent getting another," "no mom, not for me, for angus" (insert highly annoyed look here) "Jesse, I just gave everyone a popsicle and I am not giving anyone a dollar... if angus would like a dollar he can go home and ask his mom..." to which angus responds "My mom doesnt have money or food now give me a dollar." hahahahahahahahahah "ummmm no... and for your information the next time you make a demand you will no longer be allowed to play over here. I am not your friend and you will respect me." His jaw dropped and his eyes got big, he didnt even know what to say.

After a few hours of playing it was time for Jess to come in and have dinner and take a bath, and here comes angus marching right behind. "sorry angus you will need to go home now," "no I am coming in for a while, I want to talk to jesse" "no, you are going home, Jesse has played long enough and you can see him tomorrow." He hangs his head and tells Jesse goodbye, gives him a high five and a hug (awe he does have a kind side buried deep, deep, DEEP under all that dirt and ill manners) and he goes on his way. SIGH... I am so glad that Jess is well behaved and I dont have those issues with him, I would die if I knew he was acting that way!

Until next time... trying to understand what happened between her oldest and her youngest.... madness.

First lesson in childhood friendships...

I plan to continue where I left off in another blog, but felt the need to write this one first. So Jesse is excited every day to see Angus, hear Angus, and get to play with Angus. I dont mind as long as the play outside and they are nice to one another. Well recently Angus has been playing with some other friends and not so much with Jess, and it has kind of hurt Jesse's feelings. I know why Angus doesnt want to play with him as much, because (A) I wont let him in the house, not when he is rude and doesnt listen... and (B) I am not providing the entire neighborhood with snacks and drinks. While I dont particularly care for Angus it does hurt me to see Jesse playing outside by himself in hopes that Angus will come over and play with him. He doesnt understand that Angus is simply using him, and it isnt something I can explain, its a lesson in childhood friendship. Some friends are keepers, and others.... well, they are Angus'. Until next time.... this is Jesse's first lesson in childhood friendships. :/